The Personal Side of Pregnancy

I have realized that my experience here might be meaningless for others in the same position because every clinic, doctor and city in Japan treats these things differently. Also, since this is my third child, most doctors leave me to my own devices when it comes to what I eat, how I exercise, and how much weight I should gain. I think they have the impression that I will just do whatever I did last time, regardless of what they say and they would be right in assuming that. I am pretty sure I would have a different experience altogether if this had been my first baby. That being said, this post has nothing at all to do with those Eastern/Western differences in prenatal care.

This pregnancy has by far been the hardest for me. Actually, my pregnancies have followed a sort of pattern with each getting exponentially worse.  With Theo I had a super easy pregnancy, virtually no morning sickness, and I felt really comfortable and normal the whole time. With William I was moderately sick and exhausted for about 6 weeks and had a few other unpleasant symptoms but for the most part, once the first trimester was over it was smooth sailing.

For some reason, Dustin felt the need to snap a picture of me
looking as crappy as I was  feeling at that moment.

This time I was basically floored with intense nausea from 4 weeks, actually before I even knew for sure I was pregnant, until 18 weeks. Those weeks were a discovery for me in how horrible and debilitating nausea can be. I could only do what was absolutely necessary to feed and clothe the children and make sure that the bare necessities of house work were done. For the most part, everything was left up to Dustin while I felt extremely guilty, sick, and useless. My skin was completely broken out and I was having multiple headaches every week. If we weren't already sure that we didn't want any more children, this pregnancy would have cleared the matter up!

Those weeks sucked away almost all of my joie de vivre. The weirdest part was, either due to hormones or a survival mechanism of the brain, as soon as the nausea and fatigue subsided I forgot how horrible it really was, almost over night. I was just left with this eerie feeling that three months of my life disappeared into thin air.

Here is a photo of me at 18 weeks (the first week of January) marking my turning point from puddle of self-pity and misery into a normal(ish) human again. I think I look less pregnant and more like I have eaten a very large meal at this point.

This photo was taken about a week and a half ago when I hit 27 weeks. Things should be smooth sailing from here on in. Unlike most women, I actually enjoy the third trimester. I guess being tall has the benefit of preventing you from feeling like a walking house!

In With the New

What do I see in store for us in the next year? For the most part I don't know, we haven't planned any career changes, moves, or trips out of the country so it should be a pretty stable, calm year. Except for one not so minor detail.

In the beginning of June, we will be receiving the final (yes, we will be making sure it is final) expansion to our family. I found that making the decision to have our first child was so easy. Probably due to naivety and a love for children, Dustin and I jumped in with both feet and didn't really spend much time obsessing over the details. We thought it would be great to have a baby, so 9 months later we had one. With William, we spent a lot more time stalling, postponing, and getting cold feet about having another child. We knew we didn't want Theo to be an only child but it took a long time before we were ready to jump back into taking care of a young baby again. For this new baby, we spent nearly a year agonizing over whether we should or shouldn't have a third. 

Truthfully, I never really intended on having three children. A family of four is quite simple and neat. You can avoid the self-centered and lonely life of an only child (sorry if I have offended any only children out there) but still fit your family into a small-ish car. Also, you aren't outnumbered by children in your home. Regardless of this logic and all the reasons not to have a third, I felt deep down that we were meant to have one more child. I knew that I would never regret the decision to have a third child but that I might forever regret that we didn't. I know this sounds like over emotional, hormone driven logic and pretty uncharacteristic my normal outlook on the world, but I can't really explain it any other way. Also, the decision to have a third child has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I have two sons. It absolutely makes no difference to me whether this baby is a boy or a girl. I am actually pretty touchy if anyone implies or assumes that we are only "trying for a girl". We were trying for a baby, not specifically a girl, so there! :) 

Our newest addition at 16 weeks

I will be having the baby here in Fukuyama. I would like to return to Canada for the birth but the complication of having to take the two children back with me, leaving Dustin for a few months, Dustin not being able to be at the birth or see his new child for a few weeks, and the cost involved makes this impossible. 

This week marks the halfway point of my pregnancy and hopefully the second half will be much better than the first. One of these days I will do a post on my experiences being pregnant here and the differences I have noticed between prenatal care in Canada vs. Japan.